Through a Hail of Bullets
by SCLindseySC
Summary: Alexis Davis and Julian Jerome reunite in 1989.
1. Chapter 1: A Patriarchal Loss

November 2, 1989

At the bar in McSorley's, Alexis Davis sipped a mug of dark ale and reflected on the history that surrounded her. If one of her colleagues were to ask, she could wax about Faith Seidenberg and Karen DeCrow, the National Organization for Women attorneys, who sued for discrimination and won the right for women to be served August 10, 1970. McSorley's was also the bar where her first true love had had his first drink at eighteen.

He had shared that story in 1982 when he had bought her a drink at Republic Gardens to celebrate her own eighteenth birthday. They had both been students at Georgetown University then. She had been about to finish her freshman year and he was a year away from a PhD in Government. He had never finished his doctoral degree. Less than month before her nineteenth birthday his older brother had disappeared and then been presumed dead. He had left Georgetown to attend to family responsibilities.

That had been the end of their relationship. That had been the end of his political aspirations. She had graduated from Georgetown in 1985, gone on to law school at Yale University, and then taken an associate position at Whitter, Whitaker, and Holmes. He had worked with his father to learn the family business and, when his father was convicted of Duke Lavery's murder the previous June, he had ascended to head the Jerome Crime Family.

Alexis had no idea if Julian had given her so much as a passing thought since their painful goodbye six years earlier. She wanted to believe that the bottle of Cristal, delivered to her suite on the morning she had graduated at the top of her Georgetown class; and scales of justice, delivered to her law firm the day after the announcement that she had passed the New York State Bar, were both gifts from him. The scales adorned the bookshelf in her upper east side office. The champagne sat at home in a cupboard waiting for a real celebration. She hadn't had such a moment since Julian had gone back to his family in New York.

Alexis liked to believe that she had accepted the offer at Whitter, Whitaker, and Holmes because it was a good offer. It was a good offer, and she was on the fast track to making partner. It also put her in the same city as the man she loved. No matter how much Julian had explained that he loved her too much to bring her into his world she was afraid she loved him too much to truly let go. She supposed that was why she was standing at the bar in McSorley's drinking ale on the day Julian had buried his father.

Others might have sent flowers to St. Patrick's Cathedral. Alexis had considered that. With further reflection, she had decided that Julian wouldn't want any traceable connection between them. He had explained all of that six years earlier. With a wistful gulp Alexis drained her mug, allowed herself one final moment of reflective nostalgia, and then turned to leave.

The bar was full as Alexis navigated her egress across the sawdust covered floor. She weaved her way through the throng of people, along with a few adopted stray cats, and then she found herself face to face with the familiar rugged, yet charming, features and black eyes. In that moment, Alexis followed her heart, wrapped her arms around his neck, and brought her lips to his.


	2. Chapter 2: Urban Political Machines

Julian Jerome was lost in memories as he ambled down 7th Street to McSorley's Ale House. The Irish tavern, established in 1854, was deeply woven into the Jerome family fabric. His grandfather, Victor Jerome Sr., had drank there, even during the prohibition days. Those had been the, albeit waning, years of Tammany Hall and Irish Democratic power and pride. There was some irony that he hadn't been able to remain at Georgetown long enough to complete his dissertation on the efficiency of an urban political machine. If only his government professors could see him now he thought with a wry chuckle as he pulled open the door and stepped into the pub.

He was halfway to the bar when he caught his breath. He nearly pinched himself because he wasn't sure he really believed that she was truly standing there in front of him. Then their lips met and he both remembered, believed, and forgot anything else.

"Alexis?" he asked between gasps when they separated. "What are you doing here?"

"I work at a law firm in the city now," Alexis replied quickly.

Julian thought he heard disappointment in her voice. _Had she figured out that she still occupied his thoughts? Had his gifts given it away? Had his questions caused her to question that? Or was he just projecting the disappointment because he needed their meeting to something more than coincidental?_ "This hardly seems the scene of Whitter, Whitaker, and Holmes," he finally said.

Alexis smiled uneasily at first but then her smile seemed to broaden as Julian wanted to believe she realized that she was hearing validation and reaffirmation of their continued connection. "Good point. I heard about your father and, well, he was your father, so, I'm sorry," she said.

Julian noted that she hadn't exactly expressed sadness that Victor Jerome Jr. was no longer alive on the planet unleashing wanton death and destruction. To be honest, he wasn't saddened by that himself. He also hadn't exactly been heartbroken when his father had gotten life without parole for Duke Lavery's murder. In fact, he had felt liberated at his father's sentencing hearing. It had given him some small sense of justice for Duke, his wife, and his stepdaughter. It had also given him the green light to legitimize the organization.

Unfortunately, his father's time in prison had been short. He had escaped about four months into his life sentence. Julian was quite certain he had also coordinated the Manhattan Diamond Heist the next day. He carefully hadn't asked that question because, honestly, he had no interest in some overzealous prosecutor considering him an accessory after the fact.

"That he was," Julian finally agreed.

Alexis forced a laugh. "We don't get to choose our family," she said.

Julian supposed if anyone would understand that simple truth it would be Alexis. The Cassadines might be Russian Aristocrats, exiled to Greece, but they had been staging their own deadly vendettas long before the Jerome Family got involved in bootlegging or extortion. "Another excellent point. May I buy you a drink? I'll show you how to pour a proper Irish Half and Half," he said.

"A what?" Alexis asked.

"It is very similar to those Black and Tans that your old buddy Mikey Baldwin used to drink in college. Of course, no self-respecting Irishman would ever use that term."

Alexis seemed to catch the reference to the Royal Irish Constabulary. "They say that those who do not remember history are doomed to repeat it."

Julian chuckled. That comment definitely applied to Michael Baldwin. To add a different irony to the words, his undergraduate major had been history. "Touché! Don't go anywhere I'll be back in a minute," he said as he worked his way through the throng to the bar.


	3. Chapter 3: Futile at Best

Alexis turned the key in the lock of her Lenox Hill Townhouse with a little trepidation. It had been years, nearly seven to be exact, since she had last been alone with Julian. Years ago, she hadn't been ready and he had respected that. As she led Julian inside, she realized she wasn't ready to let him become the one who got away twice.

"This is nice," Julian said as he looked around the open living room and then peered out the window to the lighted view of Park Avenue below.

"It is convenient. I am able to walk to work so, even when I'm in the middle of a huge case, at least I get a few moments of exercise every day," Alexis said.

Julian nodded silently.

Years ago, she and Julian had been able to do silence. In fact, he had once told her that her ability to just be was a welcome change from his prior girlfriend, Cheryl, a woman who had attended Harvard with him. However, as they stood in her living room, on the rug her cousin Stefan had sent from Milan, Alexis was aware that years had passed. The silence felt more lonely than comfortable and peaceful. "The biggest selling point of this place was the kitchen. It's lost on me, beyond the aesthetics, but you might appreciate the appliances and the counter space.

Julian smiled. "Is that your subtle way of suggesting I should cook for you?" he asked.

Alexis felt her cheeks grow warm. "I'm afraid my cooking skills have not improved any since sophomore year. On the other hand, your cooking skills might be significantly impeded by the lack of anything edible, besides coffee or popcorn, in my kitchen."

Julian chuckled. "I suppose some things never change. Fortunately, I know of a great market on Madison that is open until nine. I'll make a grocery run and give you a chance to check in."

"Julian," Alexis started to say.

"Unless that is one of the things which actually has changed?" Julian asked.

Alexis heard the small drop of hope in his voice. He was realistic he knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, her to extricate herself from the Cassadines. "No, not really," she admitted quietly.

Julian didn't meet her eyes as he buttoned his wool coat. "I didn't expect it had. I would ask you to extend my love to Cousin Stefan but I won't put you in danger that way. Everything I have done has been to avoid that so I'll hardly change all of that now," he said. Then with one final glance and some adjustment of his scarf he walked out the door.

Alexis sunk down to the sofa and reassured herself that he would indeed come back. Then when her pulse and breathing had nearly returned to normal, she picked up the extension and dialed a familiar number.

XXXXXXXX

As he filled a basket with potatoes, eggs, cheddar cheese, butter, chives, and bacon Julian Jerome realized he was treading on dangerous ground in several senses. Most obviously he was a bit exposed and vulnerable in Zacchara territory. Tensions between the two families had been escalating over the past year and Julian had little hope of any sustaining truce. The mob tension set the tone for his second problem-his love for Alexis.

Intellectually, he knew that any relationship with Alexis was futile at best. He could go back to her townhouse, fix her a proper Irish Omelet, and ensure that one night she might actually eat a proper dinner. It could be a nice, albeit unfulfilling, evening he supposed. Selfishly he wanted so much more. Yet, no matter how much he might want nothing more than to make love to Alexis he knew he could not. Years ago, he had held back because he knew she was not ready for an intimate relationship, and tonight he would hold back because she was a woman deserving of much more than a one night stand. He was a man unable to offer anything more. He couldn't, and wouldn't, risk Alexis being caught in the crossfire of his world.


	4. Chapter 4: Ties That Bind

Alexis was only half focusing on her cousin's discussion of his recent expanse of the family holdings as she sat by the roaring fire in her fireplace. The rest of her brain was savoring the scents wafting in from the kitchen she never used and envisioning the man cooking in her kitchen without anything but an apron. Julian wasn't actually in a state of semi dress but she supposed she could dream.

Perhaps Stefan sensed her distraction because he terminated the call in just under two hours. Often their nightly "chats" could stretch out beyond three hours and result in several reams of faxed documents and contracts for her to review while he slept. Instead he wished her well and hung up a bit abruptly moments before Julian appeared in front of her extending a stoneware tureen.

Alexis reached for the dish and smiled when she saw that he had fixed her an Irish Omelet. She remembered those from her college days. Back then she had been aghast that someone would put potatoes into an omelet. He had laughed, educated her on the great potato famine, and then fixed her the best eggs she had ever tasted. Nothing had matched them, not even expensive room service eggs benedict when she had stayed at the Waldorf-Astoria.

"So, how is Cousin Stuffy?" Julian asked as they sat by the fireplace eating their omelets.

"He just purchased an island. This is amazing by the way, even better than I remembered."

"My culinary skills would make my mother proud. They are probably the only thing she would be proud of. I suspect most of the rest of it merely leaves her cursing down from heaven."

Alexis laid her free hand over Julian's. It was all she could do. She couldn't tell him his mother understood that he had only done what he had needed to do because, from all that she knew of Katherine Barron Jerome, she doubted she had. She suspected that she had accepted Julian's fate as the oldest surviving son only because it still spared his younger brother, Edgar Octavius Jerome, the same fate.

"Everyone says she was never the same after Evan disappeared. I guess they're right to an extent. But, truly, it wasn't his death that broke her heart as much as her learning the circumstances that led to it."

Katherine Barron Jerome had died from a heart attack shortly after it was revealed that her son had been in the act of raping Camellia McKay when she killed him in what her half-brother, Duke Lavery, considered legitimate self-defense. The judge had agreed and dismissed the charges.

"No mother wants to believe her son could be capable of something like that," Alexis said somberly. Although she realized her own experiences called much of that into question. Helena had been perversely proud of her eldest son's "conquests".

"No good mother and, in spite of who she married, she was a good mother," Julian said solemnly.

Alexis caught the subtle jab at his father. Years ago, she had been one of the few people who knew that there wasn't much love between Julian and his father. Nothing so far had convinced her that much had changed in their relationship over the past six years. If anything, she sensed that the bitterness and hatred of the heart had only intensified during the years Julian had worked under his father with a plan to succeed him. That made sense if you understood that heading the Jerome Crime family had never been one of Julian's goals. She had always understood that. She also understood that descendants of powerful families rarely had complete control of their own destiny. She certainly had not.

"The sad reality is that we don't always fall in love with those who treat our hearts kindly right?" Alexis asked.

"Not always, no. Please tell me I wasn't the man who helped you come to that profound realization," Julian said.

Julian's words surprised her for two reasons. Firstly, because she wouldn't compartmentalize him that way. She certainly wished things were different for both of them but she accepted that he hadn't chosen to be born into the Jerome family any more than she had chosen to be born into the Cassadine Clan. There was also the issue that the words were not her own. They had originally been uttered by some upstate New York Family Court Justice when the Crosston Custody hearings had been moved to a new venue. The case had been covered in one of her first-year family law courses at Yale.

"The words weren't even originally mine. It was a phrase from part of a child custody decision we studied my first year of law school," Alexis said.

"You remembered them for some reason," Julian challenged.

"They made me think of my mother. Although I'm still not convinced that the Davidovitch family might not have been viewed as a trade up from the Cassadines. Anything might have I suppose, at least when my mother was young."

"Does that mean you're starting to remember your earlier childhood when she was still alive?"

"No, nothing like that, except, I suppose the mind creates what it can't remember. Or perhaps the mind hides what it can't handle."

"Sometimes, I suppose. What has your mind created? Perhaps it is closer to the truth than you realize."

"The first summer I remember living with the Cassadines is the summer I had just turned nine, yet, according to records, my mother died in 1969. Stefan says I stayed with some relative of the Davidovitchs for a few years before I came to live with his family. I just don't understand why I have no memory of them, or that time at all."

"You weren't quite five when your mother died right? I was five when my cousin Jonathan was born. I remember his birth and his christening but not a lot of other random things from my pre-school years."

"I never went to school until I was thirteen. That was when Mikkos enrolled me at Briarton-Griggs Academy. Helena taunted me that I wasn't worth a proper European education. I have to say I enjoyed being on a separate continent from her. The only downside was that the school shut down completely over the summer so I had to return to the Cassadine compound. September could never come fast enough," Alexis said.

"I arranged to stay in Cambridge over the summers when I was in college. Those are some of my best memories with my mother, and Eddie. She really was a different person when she was away from Father. Eddie was too which is what inspired her to send him far away."

"You haven't spoken to your brother since before your mother died?"

"I wouldn't know where to find him. Mother made sure of that," Julian said. Then he quickly gathered up their dishes from the floor and started into the kitchen.

Alexis followed him. "You don't have to clean up," she said and then chided herself for the comment.

Julian turned from where he was filling the sink with water and soap. "Do you think these dishes will wash themselves? Or are you trying to tell me that your cousin decided to share his servants and you just have to go release them from their cages?"

After a quick roll of her eyes, Alexis could only shake her head and smile as Julian started washing the dishes.


	5. Chapter 5: Reigniting Passion

Julian had intended to leave after dinner. He had decided earlier that they could share no more than a meal. He had decided earlier that Alexis was worthy of much more than a one night stand. Unfortunately, that was all he had to offer. Therein lay the conflict.

When he had returned from the market and set to work in her kitchen he had held firmly to his original resolve. Yet, as they sat by the fire eating and talking their souls opened and touched and that resolve faded. That led him to wash dishes and even agree to a night cap by the fire. He would leave once he had finished his Irish Coffee. _He really would!_

XXXXXXXX

Alexis started to massage the back of Julian's neck. He had always carried his tension there and she was at a loss for words that might melt it away. Perhaps her touch could do what words could not.

"She always wanted a daughter," Julian said softly.

His words were disjointed enough Alexis wasn't sure they weren't a non sequitar. She presumed he was referring to his mother but there were other possibilities. There was his recurrent girlfriend, Cheryl Stansbury, aka Loretta Marie Crumholz, whom he had seemingly reconciled with after Anna Devane had been acquitted. There was also his half-sister, Olivia St. John, who had allegedly miscarried a child a few months before the attempt on her life.

"Do you mean your mother?" Alexis finally asked. It would hurt to know he was sitting with her and thinking of Cheryl but it would hurt even more to wonder later.

"Who else would I be referring to?" Julian asked.

Alexis struggled to take a deep breath. She so did not want to explain that she knew a lot more about Julian's life than he probably realized. "I was just confused for a minute. I know Olivia is your half-sister but somehow I wasn't thinking that I guess."

"My mother and Olivia never connected. I'm not sure Olivia even ever wanted that but I don't think that is what you're referring to. I suspect you're referring to the pictures in the NY Post from my trip to the Bahamas with Cheryl last November. I am sorry if you were hurt by those."

"Do you love Cheryl?"

"No, but I've known her since we were both freshmen at Harvard in 1973. I care about her and I felt somewhat responsible for how her relationship with Robert Scorpio ended. We both needed some time away, that's all that trip was. It wasn't a prelude to a proposal or anything silly like that."

"Was it a cover for business for your father?"

"Actually, it wasn't that either, Alexis."

"I was just asking. I know you have about as much free will as I do. I know someone else is pulling the strings. I know you're conflicted and I want you to know that I get that. I do."

"You might be the only one who could," Julian said.

Alexis heard the voice of a kindred spirit but she heard concern as well. She supposed that fit. "Do you ever want to just throw it all away and defect to Canada?" she asked.

Julian smiled. "That didn't work so well for my brother."

"You aren't your brother," Alexis said. She had offered those words before, to her cousin, Stefan. Evan Jerome and Stavros Cassadine had much in common. They had been eldest sons raised in a culture of wealth, power, and patrilineal primogeniture. They had also been arrogant, callous, and cruel, yet, ultimately, they had died young. Most days Alexis struggled to see that as a bad thing.

"No, I'm not, so, what are you really asking, Alexis?"

Alexis couldn't bring herself to answer him. It was all far too complicated and, honestly, they were both far too enmeshed in their oppressive families to ever take their own chances. Since her words failed her, she just brought her lips to his once again. Their kisses deepened as passion ignited. Moments later, their unclothed bodies moved as one on a blanket in front of the fireplace.

Alexis released a satisfied sigh as she laid her head on Julian's bare chest. For the first time in her life, at least in the moment, she was without regrets.

Julian cupped her chin and tilted it so their eyes met. "You are so beautiful," he whispered.

Alexis released another sigh and curled herself deeper into his embrace. In blissful silent stillness she let go and let herself focus only on the moment and their connection.


	6. Chapter 6: Awakenings

November 3, 1989

Julian awoke first beside the few burning embers, mixed among the ashes, in the depths of Alexis's fireplace. For a moment he reflected and then grimaced at how the description might also describe his relationship with Alexis. In a weak moment, he had revived the fire and then given into the passion. His mother would have never approved and, even intellectually, he regretted his actions. _How could he not? He had created an untenable situation where he would either have to abandon Alexis, and break her heart, or risk allowing her to become a casualty of his world. Neither option was palatable. Neither option was acceptable. Like so much of his life, he was once again choosing the best of a bad set of options. How much he wished that, even if just this once, there might actually be a good option out there._

Julian felt Alexis stir and shiver in his arms. Instinctively he wrapped the blanket around her and then got up from the floor cradling her in his arms. He carried her into her bedroom and carefully laid her beneath the crisp linen sheets and the down duvet. Then he sat down on the edge of the bed to think. _Jeromes didn't usually go for middle ground but, as Alexis had pointed out, he wasn't exactly his father or his older brother. Perhaps he could find a way. He had to try._

XXXXXXXX

Alexis awoke to the smell of fresh coffee. As she yawned, and then stretched under the mound of covers, she decided the scent was a pleasantly welcome, even if uncommon, at least upon awakening, at least for her. Her cousin, Stefan, had servants who arose long before dawn to prepare their master's breakfast and coffee. Her paralegal, Maude, had a programmable coffee pot she raved about. In contrast, Alexis was overwhelmingly mystified by kitchen gadgets and uncomfortable with servants. The latter conjured up far too many unhappy childhood memories, so that left her grabbing a hasty cup of coffee, from Starbucks, on her way to the office.

While the aroma of dark roast wafted pleasantly around her, Alexis contemplated the events of the prior night. Even in the light of first dawn, where she was forced to acknowledge all of the reasons behind their six plus year separation, she was without regret. That surprised her because she couldn't think of another time which hadn't been at least a little bittersweet. Even her seemingly happy memories of younger childhood with Stefan were tinged and punctuated with a sense of deep loss.

Alexis was still basking in the afterglow when Julian joined her with a tray of coffee and toasted barmbrack bread. "Breakfast in bed?" she asked.

Julian set the tray down carefully and then joined her on the bed. "You looked so beautiful I didn't have the heart to wake you," he said.

Alexis felt her cheeks grow warm at Julian's words. It wasn't just the compliment that moved her but she was realizing that at least for the first time in a long time, and perhaps ever, she had slept well. She wasn't sure exactly how to phrase that so she just reached for the cup of coffee Julian had just poured her and took a sip. _It was definitely much better than Starbucks!_


	7. Chapter 7: Truth in Advertising

November 17, 1989

Port Charles, NY

The sign outside Julian Jerome's office proclaimed him as a CPA. He had passed the NY State written exam and been granted licensure in early 1986, so there was definitely some truth in the advertising. Yet, there was also much irony and subterfuge buried within. Victor Jerome had originally sent his second son to Port Charles in February 1987 to broker the tenuous McKay-Jerome family alliance, and keep an eye on Duke Lavery, Angus McKay's recently acknowledged illegitimate son.

Initially, Julian had become the accountant for Duke's Club so he could oversee, at least the financial aspects of, his organization. At first, he had simply been doing his father's bidding. But, over time, in spite of their family backgrounds and the circumstances concerning his older brother's death, Julian had come to consider Duke a friend. That was why he had helped Duke rescue his wife, Anna from the sociopath, Grant Andrews and even why he had fed Duke some of the evidence that eventually led to Anna's acquittal for the attempted murder of his own sister, Olivia Jerome. It was also why Julian had, at least in his heart, fully renounced his own father after Duke Lavery had died in a mob orchestrated ambush at his club, Duke's Place.

Duke's Place was no longer. His widow, already remarried to her first husband, had sold the club after his death. The new owner, Katherine Delafield-a concert pianist, had practically gutted the club once the PCPD released it as a crime scene. Irish Charm had been replaced with ornate crystal chandeliers, an air of luxury, and a grand piano. Or at least that had been Julian's impression when he had dropped paperwork off earlier in the week. He was done doing his father's bidding, so he would also be Katherine Delafield's accountant. It was all part of his plan to realize the dream Duke Lavery had given his life for, legitimacy and an egress from the mire of the criminal underworld.

Originally, Julian had persevered on the path to legitimacy as a tribute to his friend. He hadn't wanted Duke's death to have been in vain but he hadn't truly believed he would ever be successful. More recently, his quest had taken on new meaning and worth. If he could truly extricate himself from the criminal underworld, he might have a chance to build a life with Alexis. He wanted that. He needed that!

As much as he wanted to be with Alexis, he was even more convinced that he could not, and would not, risk her becoming a casualty of his world. He had watched Duke try to straddle being a family man and a made man. While he understood Duke's dilemma, he had seen the casualties, including Duke and Anna's unborn child, of his choice and he could not accept that for Alexis.


	8. Chapter 8: Putting on the Ritz

November 17, 1989

Port Charles, NY

Julian Jerome stood alone amongst the crowd in Delafield's on opening night and contemplated how early he could leave. He was only in attendance because Katherine Delafield was a client and his absence would have been noted. Even with legitimate professions, there were certain obligations, expectations, and social graces that just came with the territory. So, he stood, nursed a flute of overpriced champagne, and watched the citizens of Port Charles mingle, dance, and even chat above the strains of Beethoven on the piano.

On the dance floor, the Doctors Quartermaine waltzed in elegant synchrony. Apparently, they had managed to coordinate their call schedules, snare a babysitter, and take advantage of an evening out. This was a rare feat for them between their obligations to their young family and their patients. Or at least that was what Dr. Monica Quartermaine had remarked to her good friend, Lorena Sharpe Barrington, when they had arrived.

While Alan and Monica waltzed, Julian's thoughts returned to Alexis. He wanted, actually he needed, to believe that someday all of the past might be behind him and he could bring Alexis to his drudging nighttime social obligations. Perhaps that would remove some of their drudgery. He didn't envision them dancing up a storm, that had never been Alexis's forte in the past and he doubted that had changed. Honestly, he wasn't sure he envisioned them doing anything. Sometimes just being with the woman you loved was distinctively underrated.

"Hello, Julian," the crisply cool voice of Tiffany Hill Donnelly pulled Julian away from his thoughts.

"Tiffany," Julian said. He offered her name as a form of acknowledgement. It saved him from extending the white lie that he was pleased to see her. He wasn't, especially not if she intended to interrogate him regarding her sister's whereabouts, as she had after his father's funeral two weeks earlier.

Although Tiffany clearly would never believe him, he had no idea where her sister was. He had last seen Cheryl on February 3, 1989-the day they had buried her son. In her grief, Cheryl had pushed him away. He had let her and returned to Port Charles where he had accepted his fate as the head of the Jerome Crime Family.

"I'm covering the opening for WPLC," Tiffany volunteered. "I understand that you are one Ms. Delafield's partners," she added.

"Actually, you misunderstand. I am her accountant."

"Aaah, and you were Duke Lavery's accountant when he owned this club weren't you?"

"I don't appreciate your insinuation, Mrs. Donnelly," Julian said. Then he turned away and practically collided with Anna Devane Scorpio Devane Lavery Scorpio. "Excuse me," he offered hastily as he stepped out of her path.

"Actually, Julian, do you have a moment?" Anna asked.

Julian would always have a moment for Anna. He owed Duke at least that much. "For you, always, what is on your mind?"

"I've been going through some of the boxes from Duke's Office. I think I've found some receipts you probably need to file the final tax returns. Perhaps you could come over on Monday, help me go through the rest of the boxes, and take the papers you need. Robert will be at work and Robin will be at school so we can work uninterrupted," Anna said.

"That presumes that Mr. Jerome didn't already file those returns, Love," Police Chief Robert Scorpio said when he joined them.

Julian knew that Duke and Robert's relationship had always been contentious at best. Both men had grudgingly, and only grudgingly, accepted the role the other held in Anna and Robin's life. Ironically, as much as Julian personally disliked Robert Scorpio he did understand his concern that his child was being raised in the mob. Truly that world was no place for a child. At best they would grow up with their fate and future predetermined. At worst, they might be caught in the crossfire and never grow up.

"I will have some time on Monday after lunch. I could come then. I went ahead and filed the wage and withholding, and estimated payments for the second quarter and third quarter but haven't actually closed out the business. I also haven't fully probated Duke's estate there are some things we should discuss before I do that," Julian said as they were joined by one of the wait staff holding a cordless phone.

"Chief Scorpio there is a call for you," the waiter said as he extended the phone.

"Scorpio," Robert barked.

"She did what?" Robert asked.

"I heard you, I was just trying to wrap my mind around it. I'm on my way." Robert said. He handed the phone back to the waiter and turned to his wife. "I'm needed at the station, Love, Lucy Coe has apparently stripped off her clothes in protest of her arrest."

Julian stifled a chuckle at Lucy's antics. The woman had some definite issues.

Anna rolled her eyes and shook her head. "So, no one else in the PCPD can tell the woman to put her clothes back on?" she asked.

Robert had already turned away from them by the time she spoke and either did not hear his wife's question or chose to not respond. He just kept taking long strides towards the exit.

Julian tended to believe it was the latter. "Can I buy you a drink?" he asked.

"Sure, as long as you don't share your disappointment that I married Robert so soon after Duke's death. I already heard that more than enough from Angel."

Outwardly Julian supposed he agreed with Angel but he also knew that Duke had loved Anna enough that he would want her to be happy, even if her happiness depended on her marrying a man he despised. "I believe that Duke would want you and Robin to be happy."

Anna smiled as they sat back down at the table she had occupied with Robert earlier. "I know you're right and I really believe that remarrying Robert was the right decision, at least for Robin, and I think in time it will be what is right for me as well."

Julian wanted to believe she was right. Later, as they toasted to Duke with glasses of Drambuie, his thoughts drifted again to Alexis. He had always wanted Alexis to be happy. He wanted that enough to set her free. Their chance, or perhaps not so chance, meeting two weeks ago had called all of that into question. That had brought him to a place where he accepted that Alexis's happiness would be best served by him extricating himself from the mob and integrating himself back into her life.


	9. Chapter 9: Déjà vu

November 20, 1989

Manhattan, NY

Alexis Davis pushed her glasses back up to rest securely on the bridge of her nose and released a long frustrated sigh. She had read the same page of the contract a dozen times and it still wasn't sinking in. She had no idea what was wrong with her. It was almost as if she was back at Briarton Griggs Academy struggling and suffering through Professor Eddington's Trigonometry proofs.

_December 12, 1979_

_Alexis Davidovitch sat in the library in Dorchester Hall and frowned at her Trigonometry proof. Mathematics was not her strongest subject so while she was sure that the squared secant of theta should be the same as the squared tangent of theta plus one she had no idea how to prove that. Sometimes she wished that Professor Eddington would just let them take his word for it. Her paper was a mess of various cosines and she was definitely missing the tangent in more ways than one. _

_Celia Quartermaine must have noticed her struggles, or frustration, because she paused for a moment by her left shoulder. "You need to use the fundamental formula of trigonometry," she whispered._

_Alexis supposed it might be easier if she had an idea what the fundamental formula of trigonometry was. "I beg your pardon," she finally stammered._

_Celia shook her head but then she pulled out the chair across the table from Alexis. "My cousin Alexandria calls it the magic identity. One is equal to the squared cosine and the squared sine of theta. Basically, you just need to start by expressing both the tangent and the secant in terms of sine and cosine. Then you can just use the fundamental formula and simplify."_

_Alexis could only shake her head._

_"__Here, let me show you," Celia said and pulled Alexis's notebook across the table. _

_Alexis felt her eyes glaze over. Through the fog she watched Celia's pencil move across the page without really taking it in. Her head began to swim again, something which had been happening with increasing frequency lately. Twice she had actually fallen out, fortunately no one had noticed. _

_"__See, it is really quite simple if you use the magic identity," Celia said. She passed Alexis's notebook back to her with a smile. _

_Alexis had no more idea what Celia had meant than when she had first stood at her elbow but she tried to appear as if she understood what Celia had so painstakingly outlined. Celia's father and grandfather were both engineers. They owned some company with letters, EBQ ,or something like that. "Thank you. You're right it is much easier that way," she lied._

_"__No problem, I've always liked math. I'm destined to be an engineer. My cousin, Alexandria is going to graduate with her degree from Stanford in the spring. I think I might want to go there as well."_

_"__That is nice," Alexis said. She didn't know what else to say. Her head was still swimming. She and Celia weren't really friends. They were merely suitemates. Usually Celia spent most of her time with her best friend, Holly Sutton, or some of the older girls. _

_"__Aren't you heading over to lunch?" Celia asked._

_Actually, Alexis had been planning to skip lunch. She was famished but the mere thought of food was more than enough to turn her stomach. Lately the nausea had been easing up enough to allow her to eat her evening meal and she hoped that would be the case._

_"__You should go ahead, I haven't been feeling well, lately," Alexis forced the words out as her head swum more. She caught her breath and willed Celia to go off on her own._

_But Celia didn't budge, instead she laid a hand on Alexis's arm. "Do you want me to walk you to the Infirmary?"_

_"__No, that really is not necessary," Alexis choked out as everything went black._

_Alexis was unsure how much time she had lost when she awoke laying on the floor of the library with Celia kneeling beside her. "What happened?" she managed to croak out._

_"__You passed out. Don't worry I didn't let you hit your head. I can summon the nurse if you like," Celia offered._

_"__No! I mean, truly, I am just tired. Perhaps you could just help me back to the dorm," Alexis said. She saw the concern in Celia's eyes and hoped fervently that she would not insist on summoning the nurse._

_Celia hesitated for a moment in silent thought. "Are you sure it isn't something more?" she asked. _

_Alexis pulled herself into a seated position. "Yes, truly, I'm fine. I've just been working hard on schoolwork because of the end of the term."_

_"__Ok, why don't you just sit there for a moment and I'll pack up your stuff," Celia offered._

Celia had eventually helped her back to the dorm. She had offered to stay with her but eventually left, after multiple reassurances, when Holly Sutton had stopped by to invite Celia to lunch with her cousin, Basil; who attended a nearby boy's school.

In the present, Alexis shook her head to clear the memory, and perhaps return her focus to the verbiage of her client's carefully negotiated golden parachute. Her strategy failed miserably the words began to swim on the page. Alexis yawned, then reluctantly closed the file and removed her glasses. Perhaps she was just overtired and everything would be much clearer in the morning. Perhaps...


	10. Chapter 10: Haunting Memories

**November 21, 1989**

**Manhattan, NY**

Alexis Davis awoke overcome with overwhelming all-encompassing nausea. Barely awake she stumbled from her bed and crawled into the bathroom where heaving, panting, and sweating, she was able to empty the contents of her stomach into the porcelain bowl before she collapsed onto the cold tiles. As she lay prostrate waiting for the world to stop spinning, she recalled the last time she had felt quite so miserable.

_December 15, 1979_

_Alexis Davidovitch awoke feeling nauseated and clammy. This was not a new sensation as she had been feeling poorly most of the term and each morning seemed worse than the one before. As she attempted to climb out of bed she was overcome with overwhelming dizziness that brought her down to her knees and then crawling into the bathroom where she held onto the porcelain bowl to steady herself as she heaved and panted while emptying the contents of her stomach._

_A gentle hand on her shoulder startled Alexis. First, she recoiled in fear and then felt her cheeks grow even warmer when she realized that her suitemate, Celia Quartermaine, had entered their shared bathroom. _

_"__I can summon the infirmary nurse," Celia offered._

_Alexis struggled to raise her head all the way even though it just made her feel more unsteady and weak. "That is hardly necessary. I'm just a little under the weather."_

_Celia shook her head. "I'm not exactly deaf, Alexis, I know you've been throwing up basically every morning for months. That goes a bit beyond under the weather. As I see it either you have some major digestive problem, you're bulimic, or you're pregnant. I know we aren't really best friends but I can't just let you continue to suffer here."_

_Alexis gasped. "I assure you I'm not making myself sick on purpose and I couldn't possibly be pregnant!"_

_"__Are you sure you couldn't be pregnant because you're getting sick just the way my cousin Alan's wife, Monica, was the Christmas I was thirteen. Their son AJ will be three next May. Everyone was saying that she was having a worse time of it because she was a way overworked medical resident throughout the whole pregnancy, but my mom said that some women just don't have easy pregnancies. I think she was referring to herself, which is probably a big part of why I'm an only child," Celia said._

_"__Was that lonely?" Alexis asked._

_The question seemed to catch Celia off guard. There was at least a solid minute of silence before Celia started to speak. "If you're asking if it was lonely to be an only child, not really. However, in many ways, I was much less a real only child because I grew up with my cousins. Hugh, Aaron, and I were all born within a fourteen-month period and we basically had each other's backs. I guess an older sister would have been nice, but my cousin Alexandria is five years older just enough to scope everything out and let me learn from her experience. I'm going to go visit her at Stanford over spring break and I'm sure she will help me with my applications next year. Are you really interested in my cousins or are you just trying to distract me from the topic at hand, so you can persist in your denial?"_

_Truth be told, Alexis wasn't quite sure why exactly the words had slipped out. She had noted how Celia had smiled as she spoke of her cousins and she suspected that her memories were much happier than her own remembrances of torture by Stavros's hands. She wasn't about to explain any of that to Celia. "I told you, I'm fine," she said simply._

_Celia rolled her eyes. "Well, unfortunately, Alexis, as my cousin Alexandria would say, I don't believe you!" she said._

_"__Your cousin doesn't believe you?" Alexis asked. Perhaps she and Celia had more in common than she had imagined._

_"__Alexandria was referring to this guy she met on one of her Co-op experiences over the summer. He was kind of a jerk and he didn't exactly excel in personal responsibility, so he spent most of the summer blaming various interns for his own shortcomings. He was rather pathetic. I think she actually felt sorry for him in a way. I guess when you grow up a Quartermaine you kind of buy into the excellence is standard motto and you hold yourself much more accountable than any superior really could."_

_Alexis decided not to consider what the Cassadine motto might be. _

_"__Anyway, we're getting way off topic. Have you considered taking a pregnancy test?"_

_"__What? Why would I take a pregnancy test?" Alexis asked._

_"__Because I'm pretty sure the test will be positive and the sooner that you accept that reality the sooner you can deal with it. The longer you insist on living in denial the less options you could possibly have. Personally, I don't believe I could ever have an abortion, but we aren't talking about me, and if that is something you might consider then denying the pregnancy until you get into the second trimester will essentially take that option off the table and lack of prenatal care can put both you and the baby at great risk."_

_"__You're being ridiculous!" Alexis screamed._

As the memory faded, Alexis was left with the same overwhelming loneliness she had felt a decade earlier when Celia had eventually given into frustration and went off to go have breakfast at a local coffee shop with Holly. As she lay on the cold tile, she tried to convince herself that her sense of déjà vu

stemmed from that overwhelming, all-encompassing loneliness not the familiarity of morning sickness.


	11. Chapter 11: Scintillating Conversation

November 21, 1989

Port Charles, NY

When he stepped into Kelly's, Julian realized that Anna Devane Scorpio Lavery Scorpio was already seated at a table by the far wall. That surprised him, as he was a few minutes early and Duke had frequently joked that while his wife had many wonderful qualities punctuality was not among them.

"I am sorry to keep you waiting," Julian offered as he sat down opposite Anna.

"I'm a bit early. My lead turned into a bit of a dead end, so I decided to knock off early for lunch," Anna said.

"Are you still trying to trace the counterfeit money?" Julian asked.

"Robert feels that the FBI has official jurisdiction on that matter," Anna stated very matter of factly as she stirred a little more sugar into her tea.

Anna's bored act didn't exactly fool Julian. Just because she acknowledged what her PCPD Chief Husband had said about the jurisdictional issues didn't mean that she agreed with him, or that she would back off in any way. He smiled through a wave of sadness as he recalled how Duke had claimed that while it had been Anna's sparkle that had originally drawn him in, it was her spunk and creativity that had kept him interested.

Alexis would get uncomfortable and deny if he ever told her that she sparkled but, in her own, much more muted, way Julian saw that she clearly did. He also saw that as much as first the Cassadines, and perhaps later the harsh reality of law school, had tried to extinguish her spitfire personality some remnants of it still remained. They were buried beneath the surface but Julian believed he could coax them out again. He was also starting to accept that he wanted to try.

"I see," Julian said as their waitress, Melissa McKee, approached the table.

"Are you ready to order now?" Melissa asked.

"I'll have the chili," Anna said.

"Actually, that sounds good, I'll have the same. May I get some coffee as well?" Julian asked.

After Melissa had departed, Julian pulled a file from his briefcase and laid it on the table in front of Anna. "These are statements for the trust Duke set up for Robin. It is invested conservatively but there should be enough there for college, and, probably, even law school. I predict that this bull market will end sometime in first half of next year but bear markets never last long so everything should have more than stabilized by the time Robin needs any of that money."

"If you say so," Anna said.

Julian did say so. His undergraduate honors thesis at Harvard had been a study of market analysis and the impact of the political climate on the market. By summer 1990 the midterm election would be mere months away and both parties would be posturing to maintain or take over control of the house and senate. Neither party would be willing to risk the political consequences of an extended bear market.

"Did Duke tell you that Robin wants to go to law school?" Anna asked.

"He mentioned it a few times. He really cared for Robin. She wasn't his daughter but he would have done anything he could for her. I suspect that Robin was one of his biggest motivators to agree to turn state's evidence against my father."

"That didn't bother you?"

"Actions have consequences, and my father made the choices he made. I can't completely fault someone for trying to hold him accountable for those choices."

"Ironically your father might have used those same words to justify that ambush," Anna said.

"My father wasn't a good man, Anna. I'll never try to claim otherwise. Duke was a good man and I considered him a friend. For that reason, if you, or Robin, ever need anything, you only need to ask."

"I appreciate that," Anna said.

Anna's words were simple, yet, Julian saw a deeper sincerity in her eyes. He wanted to believe that she saw equal sincerity in his eyes. He needed her to trust that Duke had been his friend. He needed her to understand that his kindness and concern for her, and her daughter, had everything to do with that friendship and, really nothing to do with the Jerome Crime Syndicate.


	12. Chapter 12: Déjà vu en reprise

November 22, 1989

Manhattan, NY

Alexis swallowed back a mouthful of bile as her stomach lurched with the slight downward drop before the elevator came to a stop on the twenty eighth floor. Whitter, Whitaker, & Holmes owned the top four floors of the building. The top floor contained the grandiose offices of the name partners, and a few even more opulent conference rooms. The twenty ninth floor was reserved for the senior and managing partners which left everyone else was assembled in somewhat random fashion on the remaining two floors.

Alexis took a shaky deep breath as she stepped off the elevator then made her way past the front receptionist to her alcove suite. She shared both a secretary and a paralegal with fellow associate, Kent Murray, so, when she saw Gladys peering around the corner eagerly, she truly hoped she was looking for Kent.

Unfortunately, such luck was not hers because when Gladys opened her mouth, she informed her that Palmer Cortlandt was holding for her on line three. With another deep breath Alexis made it into her office, took a few more deep breaths, and summoned the strength to pick up the phone.

"Good morning, Mr. Cortlandt. As I explained to your nephew yesterday, the paperwork has been submitted on the holding companies. We are still awaiting SEC approval."

"That is the problem, my dear, we're waiting. I am not a very patient person, so, you tell Mr. Whitter that I switched to your firm because I was assured that you could be both discrete and expedient. Your lack of expediency is causing me to question whether your discretion may also be lacking."

More bile rose up in Alexis's throat. She gulped and then attempted a deep breath. Neither did much for her overwhelming nausea. "Unfortunately, there is a standard timeframe with the SEC for these matters. If we have not received any further response after the holiday then I will follow up with our assigned analyst. Doing anything more would most likely subject the application to further scrutiny which can only delay processing further," Alexis said.

"That's all well and good my dear but every day we wait is one more day that treacherous, traitorous, Chandler maintains control of his company."

Alexis shook her head instinctively but then regretted the quick movement as it made her nausea so much worse. "Well, in this case, Mr. Cortlandt, that is what will just have to happen, at least for the next few days. I'm due in court at eleven so I will have to hang up now. I will get back to you on Monday after I've spoken with our SEC analyst. Should I contact you directly or would you prefer I update your nephew, Will?"

"Contact, Will, I will be at the Wallingford Fox Hunt on Monday," Palmer said and then he finally hung up.

Alexis took a moment to heave a sigh of relief before she opened her desk to obtain the file she needed for the probate hearing. As she laid the file in her briefcase she was overcome with more nausea and could only gasp at the memory the feeling evoked.

_December 19, 1979 _

_Alexis Davidovitch looked warily at the soup her suitemate had set down on the table beside her bed. She felt the bile raise up in her throat and was sure she would be sick if she attempted even a sip. Perhaps she could distract Celia by admiring whatever little trinket she had brought her and then she might leave feeling like she had done her civic duty of befriending the outcast._

_Yet, when Alexis pulled the box out of the paper bag and realized what it was she was aghast, ashamed, and afraid. "What is this?" she asked desperately._

_Celia's face was without emotion. "It is a pregnancy test. You can do it tomorrow when you first get up."_

_Alexis gasped. "You think I am pregnant?" she asked._

_"__Well, Alex, you have to admit that you have all of the classic symptoms," Celia said._

She had taken Celia's blasted pregnancy test the next day. Then she had lied and claimed that it was negative. Celia had looked like she hadn't believed her but she hadn't confronted her lie. She had merely wished Alexis a happy holiday and caught a ride to the train station with Holly's cousin, Basil. She was on her way to Port Charles where her parents were meeting her to celebrate Christmas with the rest of the family.

Alexis had arranged to stay at school during intersession. As an international student she had been allowed and honestly looked forward to the solitude and peace that afforded her. By the time classes resumed Alexis had been well into her second trimester and the morning sickness had abated a bit. Unfortunately, exhaustion had replaced it.

_January 15, 1980_

_Alexis Davis struggled to put one foot in front of the other and make her way across the courtyard to her afternoon English class in Armitage Hall. Although she was no longer vomiting up every bite she was more exhausted than she had ever been in her life. Getting out of bed in the morning was a struggle, cramming into even her altered uniform was more than snugly uncomfortable, and the walk across campus seemed impossible. When she finally reached the top of the steps at Armitage Hall, Alexis stumbled, flailed a bit to try to catch herself but then felt someone reach out to steady her. She turned to see her roommate, Celia Quartermaine._

_Celia guided through the door, over to a bench in the lobby, and helped her sit down. Alexis struggled to quiet her breathing as Celia undid the toggles and removed her coat. Celia frowned a bit and laid the dorsum of her hand against Alexis's forehead._

_"__You're burning up Alexis, you should go to the infirmary."_

_"__I'm fine! I just lost my balance for a minute there. We should get to class," Alexis protested._

_"__I spoke with the headmistress and we're both being excused from afternoon classes. I've been instructed to bring you to the infirmary," Celia said._

_"__No!"_

_"__You aren't well, Alexis. I know the pregnancy test was positive. It spilled out of the trash when I was cleaning up. I was trying to give you your privacy but I can't just let you bury your head in the sand and not get the medical care you need. Come on, let me help you to the infirmary," Celia said._

_Alexis felt trapped and honestly she dreaded the walk all the way back across campus. Perhaps Celia sensed that because before Alexis knew what was happening Celia had summoned the infirmary nurse with a stretcher and she was being laid down and then carried across campus. _

Alexis had spent two days lying in bed in the infirmary. She was afraid to admit how nice it had been to be able to just rest and how much more comfortable the loose infirmary gown was than her constricting clothes. Mikkos had been summoned and Alexis had heard the infirmary nurse explain that in addition to being five plus months pregnant she was also severely anemic with a raging urinary tract infection. Even if Briarton Griggs Academy had been willing to accommodate a pregnant student, which they were not, she had told Mikkos that Alexis would require at least one month of bedrest to regain her strength. She had recommended a discrete private clinic and assured him she would make all of the arrangements to have Alexis transferred there. Mikkos had stayed to see that Alexis was moved to the clinic and then left almost as abruptly as he had arrived. He hadn't spoken to her but Alexis could tell he was disappointed.

She had spent almost four months at the clinic. Or at least she knew that almost four months had elapsed between when she left Briarton Griggs and when the car came to collect her to bring her back to Greece for the summer. She had very little recollection of the events that had transpired during those four months. The doctor prescribed something to help her rest. She had vague memories being very overheated, a nurse applying cool compresses, horrible cramps in her abdomen. She had no recollection of the baby, perhaps it was better that way. She was told that the baby was going to a good home. It was really for the best. Alexis hadn't been sure anything was for the best but she had just gone along and accepted.

Now ten years later, Alexis was afraid there was going to be another baby. She also feared she was no more ready for a baby than she had been at sixteen. But she was no longer sixteen and the child she was starting to accept was not the result of gang rape. Perhaps both factors would make things different. Alexis could only hope.


	13. Chapter 13: The Smallest Sliver of Hope

November 23, 1989

Port Charles, NY

Julian Jerome stood on the dock near Lock 10 watching the sun rise over the Port Charles Harbor. As he sipped his coffee and enjoyed the solitude he thought of his mother, who had introduced him to tranquility of morning dawn break. For years the sunrise had been their time, and he had been her son.

A second son growing up in a culture of patrilineal primogeniture might have felt stifled and stymied. Yet, Julian never had; at least not while Evan had been alive. As long as Evan had been the presumed heir apparent to the Jerome Syndicate, Julian had been free. He had been free to attend Harvard, and then Georgetown. He had been free to fall in love. Basically, he had been free to have a life. Evan's death had ended all of that and, as a result, Julian had mourned his loss of freedom much more than he would ever been able to mourn his brother.

At face value, Julian knew how cold that sounded. On some level he even believed that it was cold. Yet on another level, his brother had been impulsive, misogynistic, callous, and cruel and there had truly been no love lost between them. Evan was everything Julian never wanted to be. His one redeeming quality had been that he was doing that which Julian didn't want to do. Julian had been grateful for that reprieve. Gratitude hadn't been exactly the same as love or respect but it had been all that he and Evan had.

After Evan's death, Julian had buried his soul and upheld his familial responsibilities. He had taken his place, not for his father, but to spare his younger brother, Edgar, his fate. For years he had existed in the murky depths of the abyss rather than living life in the light. His friendship with Duke had brought him back towards the surface of light but it was Alexis's persevering faith in him that had forced him to pierce the surface.

Julian's emergence had been incomplete; or at least full of conflict. Inertia could be hard to overcome. Yet, even as he had floundered and spun his wheels in Port Charles, he had not been able to stop thinking of Alexis. So, he had done the only thing he could do. He had held onto the smallest sliver of hope imaginable that he might find a way. Then, when he had almost reconciled himself to a life without Alexis, he had received a call from a very unexpected potential ally, Joe Scully.

Julian's father had always considered Joe Scully a mutt or a half breed. The Scully family had emigrated from Ireland in the mid-1800s and settled in Chicago and then expanded into Detroit where they came to prominence. When tensions with the Italian families came to a head Jack Scully brokered a bit of a peace accord and arranged for his eldest son, James, to marry into one of the five families.

The only son of that union, Joseph Vincent Scully, had moved up through the ranks in the Camorese family until he returned to Detroit to head the Detroit Partnership in early 1987. In the past year, Scully had successfully brokered a seat at the table for the organization on the commission.

In spite of his criminal enterprises, Scully seemed to have an ethical code and, beyond the avoidance of self-incrimination, a sense of integrity. Perhaps meeting with Scully was the first step to Julian's exit from the Jerome Crime Family. He could only hope that his upcoming trip to Detroit to attend the AICPA Convention would garner him much more than needed continuing education. For the moment, just being able to still cling to his sliver of hope had to be enough.


	14. Chapter 14: Thanksgiving Thursday

Olivia Jerome inserted candlesticks into the candelabra and then placed the heavy centerpiece in the middle of the long dining room table. After her release from the hospital, roughly seven months earlier, she had returned to the Jerome Family Estate in Brethen. Originally, she had been biding her time and feigning amnesia in order to avoid prosecution for her attempted murder of Duke Lavery, her kidnapping of his stepdaughter, and the contract she had taken out on her own half-brother. Then boredom had gotten to her and she had found herself painting on the beach. It was something to do and it helped promote her image of harmlessness.

It was on those banks of the Charles River she had met her husband, disenfranchised marine, Colton Shore. Colton had been reeling from his recent breakup and annulment from the woman he had planned, and pledged, to give over his life to. He had been desperate. Olivia had been more than a little desperate herself.

If desperation was their common ground it was also their biggest difference, at least in the beginning. Olivia had been desperate for just the basic connection to someone, perhaps anyone besides her father's former driver, Emil. She hadn't envisioned forever, or maybe even a long-term future, with Colton. In contrast, Colton hadn't just been looking for a companion, or even a lover, but for a woman who would and could become the next Mrs. Colton Shore. At first Olivia had played along and maintained the ruse to maintain the connection. At some point she had forgotten she was playing a game. Then she had begun to want, no, to need, Colton with the same fervent intensity she had held for Duke Lavery. In contrast to her failed seduction of Duke, Colton came under her spell easily, almost like a moth to a flame. With Duke, even pilfered fertility pills had not given her a baby, yet she and Colton had almost fallen pregnant in every sense of the word. It had practically been kismet.

Olivia hadn't exactly presented it to Colton that way. Instead she had feigned a very dramatic collapse and then, when Colton had rushed her to the hospital, she had feigned more surprise when Dr. Monica Quartermaine revealed that she was pregnant. All of the rest of her tests had been normal but her dramatics, the pregnancy, and her recent rheumatic fever diagnosis had prompted Dr. Quartermaine to go ahead and admit her. Colton had proposed during his weeklong bedside vigil and then arranged a quiet service in the Port Charles General Hospital chapel.

When she had left the hospital, as Mrs. Colton Shore, on October 27, 1989, Olivia had been conflicted. In spite of her seductive schemes she had some remorse about the pregnancy. She wasn't exactly maternal. _Was she really suitable to be anyone's mother? _ Of course, she had figured that similar arguments might have been made for her nemesis, Anna Scorpio and even the flighty Lucy Coe had briefly been a stepmother. Beyond that there was the issue that pregnancy would likely interfere with her battle with her elder half brother, Julian, for the family holdings. In spite of all of that she had realized that she didn't want to lose Colton. For that reason, she had struggled onward in her confliction.

Just over twenty-four hours after she had married Colton, her father's body had washed up on the shore of Spoon Island and was discovered by guests of a Halloween party the Port Charles Historical Society was hosting at the old Wyndemere Mansion. Olivia hated to admit that she was equally upset that the diamonds from her father's recent Manhattan Diamond Heist might be lost forever as that her father had died. Of course, she didn't share that with Colton because he had no idea that the large diamond heist he had followed on television during her hospitalization had anything to do with her family. He never considered that the added bonus of her dramatics had been a solid alibi for the very event he was following so intently on television.

Instead Olivia feigned overwhelming grief. Or perhaps she really had been mired in it. She had gotten so good at hiding her feelings and playing a part sometimes she really wasn't sure she truly had a clue what she really was feeling. Julian had arranged a large funeral in Manhattan at St. Patrick's Cathedral. Colton had gone to the funeral with her and supported her through everything. She had sobbed heavily at appropriate points but truly her heart had felt more empty than heavy.

When they had returned to Port Charles, Colton had vowed that they were their own family. A family of two, soon to be three. He had kissed her still flat abdomen and spoken to his unborn son or daughter. It was sweet but Olivia's mind had been focused much more on gaining control of her father's empire than anything Colton had said.

Colton hadn't noticed any of that. He was far too trusting, or perhaps really just too egotistical, to imagine that any woman could long for more than an opportunity to make and raise babies with him. So, Olivia had pretended to read baby books and consider paint colors for the nursery while she worked with Emil to try to find out what had happened to five million dollars worth of diamonds. Colton just smiled and told her what an amazing mother she would be soon.

It hadn't been a bad arrangement except for the small matter of Colton's mother. Charlene Simpson might have been an unwed mother twice over and with two different men but she seemed to have a moral compass and it pointed her precious son in any direction than Olivia's. Sometimes Olivia wanted to call her on her illegitimate children or wax on about the reality that it wasn't like Colton had done any better with his first wife Ariella Ashton, or his second wife, Felicia Cummings Jones. She wanted to point out that at least she hadn't been legally married before or even when she and Colton had first gotten together. Unfortunately, that would just have upset Colton so that had left Olivia to ignore her new mother in law's anything but subtle barbs and plan an Irish Thanksgiving Feast for their respective families- his mother and her eldest surviving brother.


	15. Chapter 15: Ineffective Denial

December 1, 1989

Manhattan, NY

It was after eight when Alexis finally made her way to the elevator and wearily pushed the down button. Her whole body felt heavy and achy and she dreaded the walk back to her condominium apartment in Lenox Hill. Of course, it wasn't like she had a choice, so she exited the building and began trudging up Park Avenue.

When she finally reached the front door to her building she lost her footing and nearly fell except the new doorman reached out and caught her.

"Are you alright, Miss Davis?" Marcus O'Reilly asked.

"I'm just tired…it has been a long week," Alexis offered quickly. But her head swum as she struggled to regain an upright posture.

"Are you sure?"

Alexis felt less and less sure of everything and anything and then suddenly everything went black.

"Should I summon an ambulance?"

Alexis struggled to pull herself back from the haze. "That is hardly necessary," she snapped.

"Well at least let me help you upstairs and make sure you get into your apartment."

"Alright, thank you," Alexis said with resignation.

XXXXXX

Clammy and weak, Alexis clung to the bowl as she emptied the contents of her stomach for the third time. Her back was throbbing as she collapsed back onto the bathroom tile drenched with sweat. _Perhaps she was coming down with the flu. Yes, that was definitely it, the flu, she would be fine by Monday_.

Alexis needed to believe that. Except she couldn't, not really. There was definite irony there. Sometimes knowledge could indeed be power, but, unfortunately, sometimes knowledge could merely interfere with effective denial and Alexis was quite certain that the latter was most relevant in her case.

_November 25, 1989_

_The bright blue tip of the Advance Colorstick taunted Alexis Davis as she peered down at it. She struggled to find her breath as she collapsed down to the cool bathroom tile. She was pregnant, with Julian Jerome's baby no less. She supposed she had always known it was possible. Perhaps she should have even presumed it to be probable…she had been mid-cycle…Julian's condom had broken. Regardless, she had clung to the cloak of denial until the tip had turned blue in true mocking fashion._

_As she released another shaky breath, Alexis debated her next move. Although she hadn't spoken to Julian since the morning after, he had remained in her thoughts. Perhaps she remained in his because she was quite certain that the potted shamrock delivered to her apartment had come from him. No card had been enclosed but that had always been typical of Julian's gifts even during the brief time their relationship had been in the open and they had seen each other daily. Then it had been symbolic of their connection. Julian had never felt the need to sign his name. Perhaps he still didn't. For a moment Alexis needed to believe that. _

As she lay helplessly on her own bathroom floor Alexis saw the irony of it all.


	16. Chapter 16: Fortuitous Moments

When he had received the call from Marcus O'Reilly, Julian decided it had been fortuitous that he had come into the city for the weekend. When he had let himself into Alexis' condominium with the spare key she had given him and found her he had decided that fortuitous was a bit of an understatement.

She had been barely conscious as he helped her bathe. He had helped her into a clean nightgown and then carefully laid her in her bed. As he pulled the crisp linen sheet up over her, she looked up at him with glassy eyes but didn't, or perhaps couldn't, speak. He sat down beside her and took her hand, "Hang in there, Alexis, Dr. Davidson will be here soon," he promised.

Dr. Ben Davidson was a third-year surgery resident at Lenox Hill Hospital. He had a bit of a side business making house calls and could be known for his discretion. After all he had been patching up the mafia connections of his father since he was a third-year medical student.

XXXXXX

Alexis winced as a sharp needle like sensation seemed to pierce her arm.

"Shh…it's ok, Alexis, Dr. Davidson just needs to put in an IV," a familiar voice said and she could feel someone patting her shoulder. _Julian…_

Alexis struggled to focus her eyes in the dim room. She felt overheated, exhausted, and incredibly weak. "I don't feel well," she finally managed to mumble.

"No, probably not. You have a high fever and you're very dehydrated. It looks like you have a kidney infection so I'm going to give you IV fluids and antibiotics," Dr. Davidson said as he finished taping down the IV and connected the tubing.

Julian squeezed her hand. "Please, sweetheart, just try to rest I am right here."

Those words echoed in Alexis's head as everything went black again.


	17. Chapter 17: Truth and Lies

December 2, 1989

Port Charles, NY

Olivia Jerome Shore dabbed at her face with the damp cloth a few more times for good measure when she heard the back door close behind her husband. Like a good marine, Colton still ran several miles on the beach every morning. This particular Saturday morning it had given Olivia time to prepare for her latest deception.

Olivia hid the damp cloth under the mound of pillows collapsed back against them and began to breathe heavily as she heard Colton on the stairs. When she felt Colton's lips brush her forehead she moaned a little but didn't open her eyes.

"Olivia, honey, is everything alright?" Colton asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

Olivia panted a little more for good measure, and then slowly allowed her eyes to flutter open and then close. "I feel…faint…I am afraid…I might… pass out," she said as she drew out the words as if it took effort just to get them out. _Clearly there was no way she could have brunch with her mother in law in such condition. Or at least she was hoping Colton would conclude that._

"You're burning up! You must have a fever!" Colton said with panic.

_Fever? Or a few strategically applied heating pads what was the difference? _Oliva decided as she made her breathing appear as labored as possible.

"It will be ok, honey, I'm calling an ambulance," Colton said as he reached for the bedside extension.

_Sometimes I underestimate my own abilities_, Olivia thought with an internal chuckle.

XXXXXX

Colton Shore hung up the payphone in the Port Charles General Hospital Emergency Department Lobby with frustration. _What was the point of his wife's brother having one of those portable phones if he refused to answer it? _He was still pondering that question when he heard a familiar voice call out to him. saw his mother come through the sliding doors of the Emergency entrance.

"Colton!" Charlene Simpson called frantically as she came bustling through the sliding doors of the PCGH emergency entrance.

"I came as soon as I got your message. I was at my aerobics class, you know, I always go on Saturday mornings. What did the doctors say? Is the baby going to be alright?"

"They haven't told me anything yet, Mom," Colton said.

Colton's words were punctuated by the opening of the double doors that led into the actual emergency department as Dr. Monica Quartermaine exited.

"Dr. Quartermaine, is Olivia going to be ok? Is this a relapse of the rheumatic fever?" Colton asked with trepidation.

"I did an echocardiogram and the heart function looks great. I am going to recommend she continue with the Penicillin injections through the pregnancy of course but that is standard at this point. I believe that Dr. Collins was going to admit her for some observation and fetal monitoring just because of the fever. She should be out to speak with you shortly," Dr. Quartermaine said.

"So, the baby is alright?" Charlene asked.

"The fetal heart tracing is reassuring. Dr. Collins can answer more specific questions on that," Dr. Quartermaine said as her words were punctuated by a piercing shrill.

Dr. Quartermaine glanced over at the pager peeking out of the breast pocket of her long white coat for a moment. "I am sorry. That is the CCU so I really need to return this page. Dr. Collins should be out to speak to you shortly," she said before escaping back into the Emergency Department.

As he watched Dr. Quartermaine's retreat, Colton released a deep breath. He knew his mother didn't approve of his wife and only respected their marriage because she loved him, her first-born son. From his mother's perspective, Olivia was a criminal. Colton wouldn't dispute that; Olivia had made her mistakes, and committed her crimes. She had!

Yet, he wasn't exactly perfect himself. He had succumbed to mind control during his brief capture in Libya and almost killed a fellow American. Realizing what he could have done had rocked Colton to his core. He had wallowed in guilt and then found his way back with some help from his psychiatrist, Dr. Tom Hardy. He had been in better place when he had opened his night club, Body Heat, at the end of 1988 and in a really good place when he had proposed to Felicia Jones in May. He had been ready to make the most of his second chance at life. He thought it would be pretty hypocritical of him to deny Olivia the same thing.


	18. Chapter 18: Anguish Abounds

Manhattan, NY

Julian Jerome carefully folded the wet washcloth and laid it over Alexis's forehead uneasily. Dr. Davidson had stopped by earlier with more antibiotics and saline. He had admitted that he had hoped she would have started to respond to the treatment but had said that sometimes with pyelonephritis it could take forty-eight hours for the fever to break. Technically it had only been around twelve since the antibiotics had started so he wasn't completely surprised.

The explanation was perfectly reasonable and logical, but it tore at Julian's heart to see the woman he loved in so much distress. He had spent most of the night holding her as her whole body shook with chills in spite of a 102-degree fever. By morning her temperature had climbed to 104.6 and she had collapsed against him exhausted and panting. She had fallen into a restless fitful sleep and he had dozed beside her for a few hours until Dr. Davidson had returned.

As he lowered himself back down onto Alexis's bed, Julian finally allowed himself to process the events of the preceding week. His meeting with Joe Scully had not gone exactly as he had expected but he hoped that might actually be a positive thing.

_November 28, 1989 _

_Julian Jerome steeled his nerves and remembered the woman who motivated him as he opened the door to Roma Café. He quickly identified Joe Scully sitting at back table which carefully provided him a clear view of both the front and rear entrances. _

_Joe Scully made eye contact with a gentleman at a table to his right and then stood as Julian approached. He extended his hand, "Welcome to Detroit, I appreciate you making the trip," he said._

_Julian nodded. He knew that within the culture there was certain respect implied from coming to Joe on his own turf, even though the original invitation was his. "I appreciate your hospitality and your ability to coordinate with my schedule while I am here attending the AICPA Conference at the Convention Center downtown."_

_Joe chuckled. "Ah, yes, you have to truly understand the rules in order to know how to break them," he said as he pulled out the chair to his right for Julian._

_Julian sat down and silently wrestled his conflict. He was well aware of the fine line between shrewd financial investments and tax evasion and the intersection between organized crime and white-collar crime. Perhaps it was hypocritical for him to eschew the former and tiptoe around men who were comfortable straddling as close to the latter as their CPA and attorneys could provide plausible denial. "I prefer to just follow them. It makes life so much easier," he finally said._

_Joe motioned to the woman standing awkwardly just out of earshot balancing a tray with soup tureens. "It's ok, Marie, please bring the us the soup course," he said._

_Marie set down two tureens of minestrone soup and a basket of sliced crusty Italian bread in front of them and then quickly departed. _

_"__I took the liberty of ordering ahead of time. Normally I would have invited you to the house in Grosse Pointe but Jeanine's mom just had surgery and she had to go back to New York to look in one her," Joe said._

_"__I understand. I appreciate that you recognized that timing is of the essence."_

_"__I can see how you would feel that way. If you're as much of a rules follower as I hear; I can imagine your inheritance has made life very messy," Joe said._

_"__I suppose some of that depends on what you have to say," Julian said._

_Joe chuckled again. "Fair enough. I won't try to sell you on the honor of this world; this life is not for everyone. Jeanine and I don't expect either of our two will follow my path. I practically had to promise that before she let me make Raphael Giambetti and Carmine Cerullo their godparents. Now my Sonny, he does see the honor of this world. He embraces the risks and for him it may be his salvation so I support him and I will help pave the path to power for him."_

_Julian had thought Joe Scully's children were both still relatively young, maybe young teens at the oldest. He wasn't sure who the aforementioned Sonny was and was afraid that could matter. He hated being unprepared. "So, exactly what are you proposing?"_

_"__The Zacchara's are angling for your father's territory in Manhattan. Someone needs to fight that. I can broker that through the Solieto family if you want to keep your hands clean."_

_"__And in exchange for that I transfer the actual holdings to some real estate company you control?" Julian asked._

_"__No, you transfer the Port Charles holdings to my organization directly. We leave the Manhattan holdings in the same trust your father left them in."_

_"__So was my father right that you were on your way out of the Camorese family just like your Uncle Vincent?"_

_"__If the Commission Trial and McClellan Hearings taught us anything it was the importance of cooperation and collaboration among the families. Divided we will definitely fall!" Joe asserted._

_It sounded plausible and from what Julian had been able to glean from his father's remaining loyal crew, Joe Scully remained an unofficial Consigliere of sorts for the Camorese family. "So, if I were to do this, who would directly run the Port Charles territory?"_

_"__Sonny Corinthos, he is an acting Capo for the Camorese Family but Fat Tony should only have a few more years in prison and the boss will want to give him his territory back. It is just a lot less messy if I don't have challenge the power structure to take up for my kid. Anyway, I think Sonny will do better with his own thing."_

_"__He doesn't play well with others?"_

_"__Oh, but he does, he has cornered the market on charisma and has charm a mile long. He might even ascend to be the big boss in time, it just might cost him certain principles I'm not sure he will compromise on. Again, it is just a lot less messy if I don't need to figure that out."_

Julian had since done his due diligence. He still didn't understand how the Cuban-greek, Michael "Sonny" Corinthos Jr., had ascended above the associate level. Perhaps being raised by Carmine Cerullo and mentored by Joseph Scully had made him "Italian" at least in name. Perhaps. Then there was the issue of "earning his bones" but perhaps he had been given partial credit for the assassination of wife beating corrupt cop Timothy "Deke" Woods in October 1986. While Woods had been on the Zacchara payroll, it seemed that death had benefited Adela Corinthos Woods much more than the Camorese organization itself after all.

XXXXXX

Alexis Davis awoke overheated, clammy, and dizzy and in a dimly lit room. Something was very wrong; her heart felt like it was beating out of her chest and the room spun as she struggled to lift her head. The act itself seemed to require effort she just didn't have and she felt herself involuntarily collapse back against the pillow. Her breathing felt ragged as if she just couldn't get air; it was like she was too weak to breathe. Helplessly she let the blackness overtake her.

XXXXXX

Dr. Ben Davidson frowned a bit as he placed the oxygen mask on his patient. She was likely becoming septic and probably really needed to be in an actual hospital. He understood why Julian was reluctant to go that route but he was afraid that soon they might not have a choice. His friend was very ill and her pregnancy only complicated things further. He hadn't mentioned the latter part to Julian. Him not mentioning it first led Ben to conclude he didn't know and that this was not the time to tell him.

"I'm sorry to call you back like this but she just seemed so uncomfortable," Julian said.

"I understand. Unfortunately, I am sure she isn't comfortable. Her pulse is in the 190s, that never feels good. I'm giving her another 1L bolus of saline through the IV and some oxygen but she is very sick and she may need to be in an actual hospital."

"That isn't a great option for her," Julian said flatly.

"I get that, I do, but we may be getting close to a point where we don't have choice. Were you able to get her to take the Tylenol earlier?"

"No, I'm not sure she could swallow it."

"Let me try some liquid in an oral syringe. If that won't work then we will need to do a suppository. At this point we need to get the fever down somehow."


	19. Chapter 19: Haunting Refrains

Alexis Davis awoke literally drenched in sweat. Her back and lower abdomen throbbed and she felt so nauseous. She was going to be sick. Through the fog she struggled to raise herself up but felt someone helping her up and then holding her head over a basin as she retched and vomited. Her head swum and she clung desperately to their arms afraid she might fall otherwise.

"It's ok, sweetheart, I'm right here," a familiar male voice told her. He rubbed her back for a minute and then laid her back onto a stack of propped pillows and then wiped her face with a wet cloth.

"What happened?" Alexis finally managed to croak.

"You passed out on your bathroom floor last night. Dr. Davidson thinks you have a kidney infection. You're getting antibiotics and IV fluids. I can stay as long as you need but, honey, you can't push yourself this hard."

Alexis's head swum more and her body felt so heavy. Once again, the darkness seemed to swallow her.

XXXXXX

Julian pulled a fresh flat sheet back over the woman he loved. Alexis had drifted back to sleep almost immediately after he had started to explain. He wanted to believe that meant she felt comfortable enough with him to let him care for him but he knew it was also likely that she was too weak and exhausted to fight for more conscious time.

Dr. Davidson had managed to get the Tylenol in but her temperature had barely dropped from 105.2 to 104.8. Julian had seen his frown but he had just suggested that perhaps tepid sponging would make her more comfortable and that he would turn up the IV fluids rate more to account for the fluid loss from the fever. He had left again to check on a patient of his at the hospital but had shown Julian how to hang the next dose of antibiotics which were due in a few hours.

While Alexis had slept, he had given her a quick bed bath, gotten her into a fresh gown, and then changed the sheets around her. He had learned a lot during the two weeks he had cared for Cheryl while she had been on bedrest hoping that might allow her to carry the baby to term. Unfortunately, it hadn't. That had been a dark time, for both of them, although perhaps more for Cheryl. After all, she had been the one who carried her son for almost seven months. Try as he might he would never really understand that love, or that loss.


	20. Chapter 20: Mired in Darkness

Alexis Davis cried out as another wave of chills wracked her aching muscles. Her whole body seemed to shake, her heart felt like it was pounding out of her chest but she felt too weak to move and so nauseous. She panted unable to slow her breathing as more bile rose up in her throat and she began to sweat.

XXXXXX

Julian laid another blanket over Alexis's shivering form and patted her shoulder and back through the blanket. "I'm right here, honey, you're going to feel better," he said as he prayed what he said would be true.

Alexis didn't respond to him but her breathing quickened and became more ragged as she broke out into another drenching sweat.

Julian sensed she was about to vomit again so he reached for the basin and raised her head. She heaved and vomited and then collapsed in his arms as he wiped her face with a wet cloth. He started to wonder if maybe Dr. Davidson was right. Maybe she really did need to be in the hospital. He also knew Alexis wouldn't want that and wouldn't want her family involved. Maybe if she could just stop vomiting, she would be ok.

XXXXXX

"The phenergan injection should stop the vomiting and I'm giving her another bolus of the saline to help correct the fluid deficits," Dr. Davidson said as he fiddled with one of the IV bags.

"Thank you," Julian said as he sat on Alexis's bed gently rubbing her back. He wondered if the words sounded as empty as they felt.

"Listen, I get it, but at the same time I did take an oath to do no harm so, if there isn't some improvement by tomorrow then we need to bring her to a hospital. I know I told you it can take a few days for patients to become afebrile which it can but usually there is some improvement by now."

"Not to dispute your medical judgment, Ben, but Alexis always takes a while to bounce back. I think it's because she pushes herself past the point of exhaustion even when she is ill. Unfortunately, this has probably been brewing for a while. I'm just glad I got here when I did."

"She called you?" Ben asked.

"Umm, not exactly, her doorman is one of my guys. He called me after she nearly passed out in the building lobby. She had given me a key for emergencies so I let myself in and found her on the bathroom floor."

Ben clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Ok, I'll check in with you tomorrow morning after I make hospital rounds. Try to get some sleep yourself if you can," he said.

XXXXXX

Alexis's body felt heavy and overheated as she struggled to open her eyes but found them drooping shut again. Opening them again seemed to take an energy she just didn't possess so she gave in and let the darkness overtake her once again.

_August 16, 1979_

_It was instinctive to fight to, to claw, as Alexis Davidovitch found herself suffocated under the weight of her cousin's business associate, Alexander Cambias. She felt her fingernails grip flesh and then felt the sharp sting against her cheek as he slapped her. _

_"__You scratched me, Wench!" Alexander cried as he raised his hand to slap again._

_"__Here, let me bind her hands," Stavros's voice offered._

_Moments later Alexis felt her arms being pulled roughly above her head and the burn of tight cord being wrapped around her wrists. It was then, as the pain intensified, that everything went black. _

XXXXXX

Alexis's screams pulled Julian from his slumber. He sat up, reached for the light, and tried to comfort Alexis's flailing form.

"Shh, honey, it's ok, I'm right here. You're safe, Alexis, you're safe," Julian said in the most soothing tone he could muster as he patted her shoulder.

Eventually her limbs stilled and Julian gave her shoulder another pat and replaced the o xygen mask on her face. He hoped she had drifted off to more peaceful sleep but then he caught a flash of brown eyes.

"Julian?" Alexis asked. Her voice sounded faint and raspy.

"I'm right here sweetheart, how are you feeling?"

"I don't feel very well," Alexis said. She tugged at the mask on her face.

Julian refrained from laughing at the obvious understatement. Instead he took her hand into his and patted it. "I'm sure. You're pretty ill; the doctor thinks you have a kidney infection."

"Doctor?" Alexis asked.

"I have a friend who makes housecalls. He can be discreet, don't worry, this will not get back to your family."

"They would use it against me," Alexis said. Her voice sounded more drawn out and Julian had noticed her breathing was quickening and she was moving fitfully as if she was uncomfortable which he was pretty sure she was.

"I think your fever is back up," Julian said as he pulled the covers back and left just a sheet covering her. He reached for the thermometer and adjusted the oxygen mask to insert it. She felt so warm.

Julian raked a hand through her hair, now damp with sweat and then removed the thermometer which read 105.4. No wonder she felt so warm. "Alexis, honey, stay with me, ok, we need to get the fever down," he said.

He drew up the liquid Tylenol Ben had brought over earlier and pulled her up close to him before slowly squirting it into her mouth. To his surprise she seemed to swallow. He kissed her forehead as he laid her back against the pillows and went into the bathroom to refill the wash basin with lukewarm water. Ben had said that was more effective than cold water as far as reducing the fever.

XXXXXX

Julian again took Alexis's hand into his as he laid down beside her. After thirty minutes of sponging she had seemed more comfortable so he had just laid a wet cloth over her forehead and let her sleep as he drifted off beside her. He prayed tomorrow would be a better day.

* * *

_**For everyone who is hoping for longer/more frequent updates, this story has been challenging. One of the things that has helped with Who We Are (which is actually written in parallel) is that I have 2-3 faithful reviewers who have really offered great constructive feedback and I think that definitely has helped me flesh out and write that story.**_


	21. Chapter 21: Morning Has Broken

December 3, 1989

Manhattan, NY

As light filtered in through the window Alexis awoke feeling nauseated, feverish, and generally unwell. That feeling had become far too familiar. She opened her eyes halfway but even that seemed to make the nausea worse so she closed them quickly and tried to summon the strength to drag herself from bed. Just lifting her head from the pillow took so much effort and sitting up seemed impossible. On the fifth, or maybe sixth, try she managed to heave herself a bit forward but by then her heart was racing, she was drenched with sweat, and her arms trembled from the effort of trying to support her weight. _Something was very wrong._

"Oh, Alexis, honey, here let me help you," a familiar voice said and Alexis found herself being picked up and laid back onto propped up pillows.

Julian sat down beside her on the bed and took her hand. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, you were actually resting comfortably fifteen minutes ago and I thought you would be ok long enough for me to shower. It's ok, I'm here now, just try to relax your breathing, honey."

"Too hot," Alexis managed to croak but it seemed surreal as if someone else was saying those words. The room seemed to sway and she felt so shaky and weak. _She couldn't get enough air._

XXXXXX

Julian shook his head as he laid a cool cloth over Alexis's forehead. Her breathing was rapid and labored and she was sweating profusely. She had either drifted back to sleep or passed out but she moaned intermittently and seemed to be in pain. She looked so miserable he was starting to accept that Ben was probably right. She probably did need to go to the hospital. He just wasn't sure how to make sure she was safe there.

Julian was afraid that her cousin Stefan wasn't always the ally, Alexis needed to believe he was. There was no good way to suggest that to her, so Julian had never gone there, at least not with Alexis. He just had never trusted Stefan in general, or specifically where Alexis's welfare was concerned.

As he contemplated all of that he realized that Alexis's breathing had finally slowed and she almost appeared comfortable. Perhaps the fever had finally broken. Perhaps it would really be ok. He could only hope.


End file.
